Thursday, April 2, 2009

My First Love - Introduction

RING!! RING!! School was over we were walking side by side. We were holding hands his hands seemed so soft so warm that made me never wanna let go, his grip seemed so instance. The feeling of that passionate, softness flesh from his lips made me quiver. The way I never wanted too let go are lips how they fit so perfect upon each other was unbelievable so desirable.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow! I could like picture that perfectly! Very good details, and I actually could like feel the emotions you were talking about. I think that makes a person a good writter, when others can picture what your writting. Good job!

-Kesha ;)

Anonymous said...

I like how you write this, but you relly don't have to discribe everything in this first pragraph.

Dani

Anonymous said...

I think thats a good way to start out your intro. maybe give a little bit more detail about where your headed to after school.

Tayler

villasenor said...

i think you did well with your written i like your first line of your introduction you don't have to improve anything it is cool like that

joey said...

man that really touching on never letting go of your lips touching. but you need to improve on the kissing part and give action.

Anonymous said...

This is a really good intro. A lot of emotion in it. Made me think of mine...

=)

Kelsee 4th

Anonymous said...

good. confusing at timeS
/Jose S

joey said...

I know how the filling is having your girl it something that knowing how it could fill.

Alfredo said...

Man this is a cheesy story but is cute.

Alfredo .S. Gtz